is your mom at the bar?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
