butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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