that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do vagina's smell?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
