I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
