He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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