You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
