I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
