Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
