ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
