he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
