Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
