we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love you. Go after that dick
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
