Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
