ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
