If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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