Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
