Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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