Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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