His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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