Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
