so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
