If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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