I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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