He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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