i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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