Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
