Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
