My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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