Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
