his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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