Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
