I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
