who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Farmville is her only friend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
