found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
