Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
