...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize