He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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