it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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