I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
