Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
