I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
