I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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