I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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