I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Randomize
