You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
