i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
