honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
