dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
