my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We named our party play list daddy issues
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
