I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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