i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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