My first STD was from a foam party
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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